First and foremost, The Eternals is a Family Movie
Who says Family movies are dead? Not this famed internet journalist, that’s for sure. Angelina Jolie has returned to the silver screen (in a world marked by never-ending lockdowns) to the MCU universe in Marvel and Disney’s latest instalment – The Eternals.
After the return of half the population in Avengers: Endgame (2019) ignites “the emergence”, the Eternals — an immortal alien race created by the Celestials who have secretly lived on Earth for over 7,000 years (who do not give a crap about the events of Endgame) — reunite to protect humanity from their evil counterparts, the Deviants.
And thank god Kevin Feige was able to offer up supporting roles to Angelina Jolie’s 14 Children. Because if acting in a multi-million dollar film franchise isn’t as good as a game of catch in the park with your mum (mom) then I don’t know what is. Who says kids don’t get a chance in Hollywood?
The Eternals has opened to mixed reviews from critics and fans alike.
Screen rant had the following to say:
“Overall, the film was given the monumental task of introducing ten completely new characters to the MCU and developing them enough to ensure audiences would root for them all – and Zhao deftly pulls it off… It’s a Marvel movie unlike anything the MCU has seen thus far.”
The Wrap:
“The performances do their jobs, too, especially when, outside the regulation superhero pantomiming. Zhao’s compassionate gaze requires something extra, for love, destiny, the planet, everything… But what makes “Eternals” feel special is that, for once, the director genuinely cares as much about the character within that spectacle, as the spectacle itself.”
While CBR balanced an attempt at an A-political review:
“Eternals has too many balls in the air for any director to catch them all; although, Zhao’s work with cinematographer Ben Davis makes it a sight to behold while they try. The cast members are all welcomed additions to the grand tapestry of the MCU. It’s just a shame it couldn’t find a way to trim just a bit of the fat from the story. It could have been a stone-cold classic instead of a heady standout that lands like an unwieldy entry in the superhero genre.”
While baby-boomer positive paper tabloid Daily Telegraph backed the play at a subtle dig:
“It’s constantly engaged in a kind of grit-toothed authenticity theatre, going out of its way to show you it’s doing all the things proper cinema does, even though none of them bring any discernible benefit whatsoever to the film at hand.”
Disney aren’t letting any bad reviews into the Jolie Camp
While the reviews coming in are mixed, and not indicative of an overly bad MCU cosmic romp, Marvel and Disney executives are doing everything they can to limit the fallout in the Jolie camp. Last thing they need is another Black Widow situation. Even going so far to ensure that the aptly capable mother of fourteen won’t see any bad reviews by cloning her phone – in an industry first move.
However, it’s the bold move of paying off her number 1 adopted son, Kumail Nanjiani, to conveniently drop hints of positive film reviews at 70 minute intervals via text message that is paying off. A strategy which is helping Disney keep Jolie in check because hell hath no fury greater than a mother of fourteen adopted children. We approached Jolie’s 13 other children for comment but have had no response. Typical.
Let history judge Disney.
MORE TO COME.
