Love or hate MTV’s animated series Beavis and Butthead, the one thing we can all agree on is its spin-off show, Daria, was extremely successful in navigating the nonstop nuance of tedious teen life.
Starring Daria Morgendorffer, her sister Quin and their parents Helen and Jake – the show follows the four of them as they navigate American lifestyle in a brand new town. Specifically focusing on Daria Morgendorffer, the show quickly introduces Daria to her new best friend Jane, and together the pair navigate the dynamics of High School life and (most importantly) how to avoid the dynamics of High School life.
A self professed loner, Daria spends the majority of her time at high school avoiding her selfish sister, Quinn, and hanging out with Jane as they plan out new and inventive ways to avoid the social traps of adolescene. Ie – parties. Thanks to the voice acting talents of Tracy Grandtsaff, Daria’s monotonal quips which reference a butt-load of pop culture quotes, are a great narrative on life in American surburbia.
We’ve included 47 quotes from the disenfranchised Daria and we hope you enjoy all of them.
RELATED: Meet the Morgendorffers: 34 Best Daria Season 1 Quotes
Daria quotes from Season 2 of the Famous MTV Show
Daria: What’s wrong?
Helen: Your father had a little business setback, dear. He lost a client.
Jake Morgendorffer: “I got a great idea,” he said. “A million dollar idea,” he said. “Cigars for pets. What do you think?” he said. “I want you to be honest,” he said. What the hell made me believe him?
Jane: You’re a real Joan of Arc, you know that?
Daria: Yeah. And I think I just ordered a stake.
Jane Lane: Can she do that?
Daria Morgendorffer: No, this is all a bad dream brought on by too much pene a la pesto.
Jane Lane: Do we have any recourse or anything? I mean, cant we talk to Mr. O’Neil
Daria Morgendorffer: We could appeal to him, and he might turn the full force of his overwhelming personality to Ms. Li, and then she’d eat him.
Daria: How about we call it, “America’s Future Leaders,” and we just enlarge a picture of Kevin and Brittany?
Jane: Come on, that’s too depressing. How about we call it, “Beauty is only Skin Deep,” and we attach the actual skin of a student?
Daria: Oh, I like that. I wonder if we can talk Quinn into donating hers?
Daria Morgendorffer: So then… Splat. Dinner ends up all over my dad’s head.
Jane Lane: Wow, excellent, your youthful integrity is tearing your family asunder.
Daria: I can’t shoot my own mother. Not with paint, anyway.
Daria: Mom, I think you’ve already demonstrated your involvement by pretending you’re going out of town whenever Mr. O’Neill calls about school review meetings.
Helen: That man is just so… creepy. I don’t suppose they need volunteers for this…
Daria , Quinn: No!
Helen: Oh, darn.
Daria: Only Quinn could turn having brains into a fad.
Jane: You know how fads are. Today it’s brains, tomorrow, pierced tongues. Then the next day, pierced brains.
Daria: Sometimes your shallowness is so thorough, it’s almost like depth.
Quinn: Thanks a lot! I hope you realize that you’re making me do my own homework!
Daria: That IS a scary thought.
Daria: Mom, if you’re going to reminisce, I’ll be forced to call Social Services.
Daria: For your purposes, “existential” means pseudo-intellectual poser with accessories from the Street Fair.
Daria Quotes that will make you Nostalgic for the 90s
Quinn: Does this black match?
Daria: Matches my mood.
Daria Morgendorffer: Amy, is life always tawdry, stupid, and humiliating, or is it just a phase?
Aunt Amy Barksdale: Just a phase. I’m expecting to grow out of it anytime now.
Daria Morgendorffer: I’m an exotic dancer. You know, at a club. I take my clothes off and dance in front of strange men.
Luhrman: She’s really very good.
Aunt Amy Barksdale: I have some vague memories of high school, but these days, you all carry weapons, right?
Daria Morgendorffer: Well, not to formal occasions like this.
Quinn: Daria, you can’t leave me here with those, those yuppies.
Daria: Yuppies are from the ’80s.
Quinn: So what do you call people with funny outfits who talk about peace and love and stuff?
Daria: Trekkies.
Jane Lane: Why are you staring at my brother?
Daria Morgendorffer: Selfless concern? I think he stopped breathing.
Jane Lane: Nah, he’s entering a dormant stage. In about 10 years he should emerge as a butterfly.
Daria Morgendorffer: [while sorting vinyl records] Should I file this under self-indulgent posers, or under rated geniuses?
Jane: Andy Warhol filmed eight hours of a guy sleeping and people thought it was brilliant.
Daria: Those people changed their minds after they got into the twelve step programs.
Helen: I haven’t seen you this amused since your sister fell at her dance recital.
Daria: That was me.
Helen: Oh. Well, I knew it was one of you girls laughing at one of you girls.
Daria: [to Jane] You know that conscience I don’t have? It got to me.
Daria Quotes that Scream Teen Angst
Jake Morgendorffer: You just can’t put a price on a moment like this, Daria, and once these years are gone, they’re gone.
Daria: Dad, it’s 4:00 A.M. I just woke up from my worst nightmare: resembling my sister. You’re reliving an instance of parental neglect from forty years ago. You call this parent/child bonding?
Jake Morgendorffer: Works for me.
Daria: You tried to buy my influence with a date?
Quinn: Well, that’s how we do it in America, comrade.
Quinn: Hey! Check it out! My web page just had 2500 hits in just the last three hours!
Daria: Really? I can beat that.
Quinn: You don’t even have a web page.
Daria: No, but I can hit.
Teacher: Oh come, Daria! You must have some goal.
Daria: My goal is not to wake up at forty with the bitter realization that I’ve wasted my life in a job I hate, because I was forced to decide on a career in my teens.
Daria: Well, I have to admit there are times when I’d like to be more like you.
Jodie Abigail Landon: Really?
Daria: I’m not saying all the time.
Helen Barksdale Morgendorffer: I don’t like the idea of you staying here alone, anyway.
Quinn: Why? I’m not afraid.
Daria: Yeah. Why should you be afraid? Of mass murderers, serial killers, torturers, cannibals… puppy kickers?
Quinn: Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of the house while you’re gone.
Daria: You mean like last time, when you had that keg party and Jeffy threw up in Mom’s closet?
Quinn: He did not! It was Jerome.
Brittany Taylor: [Daria is reading The Telltale Heart] The Telltale Heart? I LOVE romance novels!
Daria: Yeah, nothing says “Be Mine” like a pounding heart beneath a floorboard.
Daria Morgendorffer: Look, I’m sorry about last night.
Jane Lane: Aw, forget it. It was a rare opportunity, getting to hang out with Brittany in a grunge club. Although her hair did leak onto my shoes.
Daria Morgendorffer: You’re sure that wasn’t her brain?
Jane Lane: No, there was too much of it.
Mr. O’Neill: Now, why do you think it is that Tolstoy felt he had to make War and Peace so darned… unpleasant? Daria?
Daria: So no one would pester him to do a sequel?
Daria Morgendorffer: If some guy named Knuckles calls, it’s for me.
Daria Quotes filled with Sarcasm
Daria: Funny how all the drills for “Focus on Agility” month are the same ones you’d do if you were trying to sneak a cheerleader practice into regular gym class.
Jane: Yes, and I don’t intend to stand for it. They can have my squat-thrusts when they pry them from my cold, dead hands.
Daria: What?
Jane: I don’t know.
Daria: “Thin Thighs For Your Man.” But I don’t like men with thin thighs.
Daria Morgendorffer: Jane? On a school team? That’s pathetic. Hey, if she’s the pathetic one, why am I talking to myself? And more importantly, why am I waiting for a reply?
Quinn Morgendorffer: I was thinking that you and I could… you know, do something together.
Daria: All right, who are you, and where are you hiding Quinn?
Quinn Morgendorffer: What? Can’t a sister spend time with her…
Daria: Cousin?
Quinn Morgendorffer: All right, Mom is forcing me to hang out with you.
Daria: Forcing?
Quinn Morgendorffer: I’ve got her gold card.
Daria: Why didn’t you say so? Give me the first cash advance and you can come with me to the library.
Quinn Morgendorffer: The library? If anyone saw me there, I’d die.
Daria: Okay, then, how about the mall? You know, where your friends hang out.
Jane Lane: Not so fast; How do I know this is a sincere apology and not a cheap ploy to get back on my good side?
Daria Morgendorffer: Why does there have to be a difference?
Jane Lane: I accept.
Ms. Morris: Ladies. Why aren’t you exercising with the rest of the class?
Jane Lane: We are exercising.
Daria Morgendorffer: We’re exercising our right to abstain from cheerleader practice.
Daria Morgendorffer: I am not going to pierce my bellybutton. It never did anything to me.
Helen: You gloss over everything with a cynical joke and no one knows what you really believe in.
Daria: A-ha. So my evil plan is working.
Jane: Hey, Daria, can I have your boots?
Daria: Yeah, turn around. I’ll give you one right now.
Jane: Hey, Daria, can I read your story someday?
Daria: No, but you can read the one where you run off with Kevin.
Jane: WHAT?
Jane: Well, what’s your definition of true?
Daria: Something that says something.
Jane: What, anything?
Daria: No, something, about something.
Jane: Let me get this straight, you’re telling me that you want to write something, not just anything, that says something about something.
Daria: Right.
Jane: Gee, who’d ever believe you having trouble communicating.
Helen Morgendorffer: So, Daria, how was your day at school?
Daria Morgendorffer: Hmm… lets see… Nobody talked to me again today, I wasn’t invited to any parties for the weekend. So, all in all, another good day.
Jake Morgendorffer: Hey, kiddo! Guess you’re wondering what old Dad is up to with the big stew pot!
Daria: Guess again.
Helen Morgendorffer: Daria, do you have to look at everything in such a negative light?
Daria Morgendorffer: Could you possibly be referring to the harsh light of reality?
What are your favourite Daria Quotes?
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