‘Cuddly’ Nerd Spills Mountain Dew Over MAGIC THE GATHERING Comic Series Announcement

Lachlan Brown, 28, spills his Mountain Dew over Magic: The Gathering Announcement

Just under three days ago, Lachlan Brown, was spotted in local KFC fawning over a spilt beverage he’d upsized under ‘duress,’ while ordering his second Double Crunch meal. He claims, all caused by an online Magic The Gathering announcement.

It’s reported the drink, an appropriately sized 600 Ml Mountain Dew (now with Caffeine), had been spilt between a break of chicken burger induced meat sweats and Instagram scrolls.

“Bullshi—“

He exclaimed at the top of his voice as he came across a post from The Hollywood Reporter. What ensued next was a tirade of nerd fits of rage, Mountain Dew spillage and chicken salt polluting the recycled KFC air.

“I don’t even understand how this could happen. I don’t even follow the Hollywood Reporter. What the f—“

We can now report, the incident in question, caused by a recent announcement of a new Magic : The Gathering Comic Book mini series is the marginal offender. With no official synopsis for the first issue present, all we know is that it will directly involve the character, Chandra Nalaar, a Planeswalker and Pyromancer.

Wizards of the Coast, the company behind Magic: The Gathering, collaborated with IDW.
This is what franchise director and party responsible for Lachlan Brown’s near fatal collapse, Jeremy Davis, said in a statement:

“Think of a character that you love. From any story, from any property. There is an excellent chance that you were introduced to that character by some kind of page, or some sort of screen.”

“We are thrilled to have Vita and Harvey introduce you to Chandra, to her story, her quirks, and her incredible powers. Set in the near future of the Multiverse, these never-before-told stories will breathe life into Chandra, her cohorts, and her enemies in new and visually striking ways. Knowledge of cards is optional, love of characters, required.”

SodaandTelepaths.com has reached out to IDW and Wizards of the Coast for an apology on behalf of ‘Lachie.’ So far, our requests for comment have gone unanswered.

The new Magic : The Gathering – Chandra comic series is due for release in November.

Editor & Writer. When not immersed in questionable 90s pop culture I can be found covering News and Reviews. Convinced 4/4 time signatures were invented by the devil.