In a world of Comics Beat, The Comics Journal, CBR, and all that other riff raff – there seems very little coverage for the working man’s comic book review. The layman and the low brow has long been left by the wayside as academics try to elevate modern silly books to a status of class and superiority. None of which you’ll ever find here – welcome to Comics Reviewed Badly.
A review series where creators names will be spelt wrong, publishers will be referenced as the devil and a final humorous verdict will be left. And no I’m not sorry.
RELATED: COMICS REVIEWED BADLY: Vinyl #1 (Image Comics)
Vinyl #1 – Image Comics
Published by Beelzebub himself aka Imarrrrrge Comics, Vinyl #2 picks up immediately after the first issue of this sordid and seductively strange world of killers, fiends and closet cannibals.
This bizarre world of writer Dorg Winer and Daniel Heelyard’s begins to elaborate on the plan at large that we saw very little of in the first issue. A plan where serial killer and teddy mask wearer, Walter, is using every vehicle at his disposal to break frenemy Detective Dennis out of a cult’s stronghold.
Hooking up with Dennis’ partner, Vic, the two unlikely desperate bedfellows monitor the situation of a trio of serial killers as they begin to kill off the cult security guards one by one. There’s the red headed twins who look like the result of a DP porno flick involving Carrot Top, Lindsey Lohan and Seth Green – who like to kill people in strange and uncertain ways. Then there’s the freakishly strong “Guy” who by all rights is the never-quite-made-it reject cousin of Frankenstein’s monster. Together, the three of them make murder and mayhem are fun sport to behold.
Although, the story snaps back from fun to sinister, when the events that unfolded involving the serial killers vs security guards is revealed to have been monitored by Sexy Cult Leader Madeleine who then in turn reveals to the head security guard, Mr Hopper, that his men were just bait to reveal the in-hiding serial killers. Promoting Madeleine to order her Husks (cultists in masks) to murder the remaining security guards while Madeleine disembowels Mr Hopper with his own knife. It’s red wedding ala Vinyl.
Leaving Dennis, who witnesses the whole thing whilst handcuffed to a chair and predictably freaking out.
Meanwhile, Vic and Walter have also witnessed the scene between Madeleine, the Husks, Mr Hopper and his men. When Vic packs it in and says I’ve had enough I’m out. This prompts Walter to retreat into himself and adorn the Teddy mask, plucking the sewn on buttons for eyes as Vic startlingly discovers one of Husks at their doorstep. A Husk who plunges two blades into either side of its neck. Blood splashing everywhere.
Issue #2 is probably the issue where things go from bad to worse. We’re witnessing the decline of a series as it goes from truly maddening to absolutely bat-shit crazy. You think you know everything now but you don’t. You’re so so wrong. More questions are raised than answers are given. WTF kind of soap opera do the creators think this is?
Verdict: Vinyl #2 is basically days of our lives with cults and knives. Oh that’s offends your superior world view on silly books? Fuck you.
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