Johnny Bravo took the animated world by storm with his quick one liners that cemented him as the ultimate cartoon douchebag. But that doesn’t mean he isn’t enjoyable. He epitomised the selfish womaniser and as a result ended up getting into all sorts of comedic mischief. He even met Scooby Doo once.
We’ve put together some of our all time favourite Johnny Bravo quotes. And all of them are loaded with pure awesome.
1. “I bet your name’s Mickey, ’cause you’re so fine. You’re so fine you…”
2. “Hey, there, hot mama, you wouldn’t happen to be hiding a gorilla under them clothes, would you?”
3. Velma: My glasses! I can’t see without my glasses!
Johnny Bravo: My glasses! I can’t be seen without my glasses!
4. Johnny Bravo: [pointing at Scooby Doo] You understand what the dog says?
Velma: Sure, we all do!
5. “‘Jinkies’. Jinkies. Jenkies, isn’t that some kind of breakfast cereal?”
6. Suzy: Would you buy a Peanut Swirl? Even from a little girl?
Johnny Bravo: I will not buy them, not one box. I will not eat them with a fox, not with bagels or with lox, and don’t try to tempt me with Courteney Cox. I will not buy a Peanut Swirl. I will not buy it, little girl. I want no cookies, can’t you see? Now get that stuff away from me!
7. “I think we are ready little Freddie!”
8. Guard: Name?
Johnny: Johnny Bravo.
Guard: Occupation?
Johnny: Johnny Bravo.
9. “Enough about me, now let’s talk about… me.”
10. Johnny Bravo: [politely demanding for movie tickets] Give me two tickets, please.
Woman at Ticket Booth: No pets allowed.
Johnny Bravo: She ain’t no pet. She’s a werewolf.
Woman at Ticket Booth: A werewolf?
[screams]
Johnny: [to Fluffy] I guess that means we don’t have to pay.
11. [Answers phone] “Troubled Teen Hotline… Your boyfriend left you? Well… uh… what are you wearing?”
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12. Johnny Bravo: [after overdosing on Ubermass which makes him fat] I need to find a way to lose weight fast.
Suzy: You and fifty eight percent of America!
13. Lois: [appearing to Johnny after breaking up with Woody] Good evening.
Johnny: Hey! How did you do that? Appear out of nowhere?
Lois: I am Lois, a mistress of the night.
Johnny Bravo: And I am Johnny Bravo, a mister of the universe. A popular girl like you is going to need some wooing.
Lois: Wooing? I haven’t been wooed in millennia.
14. Foreman: [There is a big boulder in the road] There’s only way to move this rock.
Worker: I’ll get the dynamite.
Johnny Bravo: [Johnny falls from the sky and hits the boulder headfirst, breaking it completely] Aaaah!
Worker: Kid, you got yourself a job.
Johnny Bravo: [Emerges from Hole, Dazed] Hot Dang!
15. Little Girl: [shouts] Look, Mommy! That guy’s looking at pictures of almost naked men!
[the whole store stares at Johnny]
Johnny Bravo: This is a men’s fitness magazine, I want to look like this, not at this… I’ve got nothin’ to be ashamed of!
[walks up to cashier ashamed, and drops change on the counter]
Johnny: … TV Guide.
16. “Mmm. Frosted Sugar Bits. The great taste of frosted sugar in bits.”
17. Judge: Mr. Bravo, you’re accused of littering. Do you have a lawyer?
Johnny Bravo: No, your honor. I’ll be defending myself.
[makes karate moves]
Johnny Bravo: Hoohahuh!
Judge: Are you familiar with the saying that any man who defends himself has a fool for a client?
Johnny Bravo: Then, I’m hired!
Judge: All right, Mr. Bravo, how do you plead?
Johnny Bravo: Like this –
[in begging voice]
Johnny Bravo: Please, oh, plea-ease!
Judge: [slams hammer] I could hold you in contempt.
Johnny Bravo: I don’t care how you hold me, just hold me.
Judge: Mr. Bravo! Do you have anything to say in your defense?
Johnny Bravo: I sweat a lot, but my breath is minty fresh.
Judge: Mr. Bravo. Normally I dismiss cases like yours, but in this instance, I’m going to sentence you to 86 consecutive life sentences.
Johnny Bravo: All right… wait, is that bad?
Judge: Take this knuckle-walking neandertal out of here!
Johnny Bravo: [being dragged away] Uhm, can I have that lawyer now?
18. Johnny Bravo: Hey, look everyone, I got a mango.
Bunny Bravo: That’s a telegram, sweetie.
Johnny: Right, what did I say?
Bunny Bravo: Just read it, dear.
Johnny: [reads] “to unseal envelope peel back flap and…”
19. Johnny Bravo: Now who died?
Carl Chryniszzswics: Not died. Dying.
[sniffs]
Carl Chryniszzswics: Read the medical report.
Carl Chryniszzswics: What? 12 hours to live? No hope of recovery? Fungal infestation? Carl, you’re dying! And here I was being mean to you for the past two decades.
20. Villager: We are a village of terrible cowards. Even the meowing of the tiny kitten makes us cry like a little girl.
Johnny Bravo: Boo.
Villager: Aaaaargh!
Johnny Bravo: Okay, your story checks out.
21. [Sitting on stairs, upset] “Every time I try to fight the power the man slaps me down.”
22. “Oh, my God! You’re Fidel Castro!”
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23. Bunny Bravo: Johnny, have you been taking good care of your teeth.
Johnny Bravo: Yes, Momma. I’ve been brushing every day with baking soda.
[holds up cane sugar in a jar of molasses]
Bunny Bravo: Johnny, this is cane sugar and molasses.
Johnny: To-may-to, To-mah-to.
24. [eating ice cream with a toothache] “Chomp, chomp, chomp, AAAUGH! The PAIN! The Horrible PAIN! Mmmm… Creamy! Chomp, Chomp, Chomp, AAAUGH! The PAIN! The stabbing knives of pain! Ooh! It’s got nuts in it!”
25. [to his secretary] “Get out of my chair and make me some coffee with Eight sugars, then throw it out and make it again ’cause it’s Still Not Sweet Enough!”
26. Warden Buford: What we have here is a failure to communicate!
Johnny Bravo: What?
Warden Buford: What we have here is a failure to communicate!
Johnny: Huh? I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening.
27. Bunny Bravo: Johnny, are you warping time and space again?
Johnny Bravo: Uh… no.
28. Carl Chryniszzswics: Ooh, a recipe for German Chocolate cake! Let’s see now: Chocolate… Cake… GERMANS!
29. “But these letters. If Santa doesn’t get these letters by tonight, I might not get all those free presents I asked for. And who ever heard of a Christmas without free stuff?”
30. Roy: You should know better than to try to mail something on the day of Christmas Eve. Especially a letter to Santa Claus.
31. “I need to get these letters to the North Pole by tonight.”
32. “Hey, Santa, it’s me, Johnny. Remember I’m the one that beat you up last year ’cause I thought you were a burgler?”
33. “Dog… donkey… Well, they both start with the letter ‘N’…”
34. Heather Asplund: I don’t know how to put this lightly, but… I’m actually a counter-intelligence spy working for the CIA trying to take down an underground group of spies who claim to be an offshoot of the CIA but are actually part of the bad guys.
Johnny Bravo: …Wanna see me comb my hair really fast?
Heather Asplund: I didn’t think that I could fall for you, but… it seems I have.
Johnny Bravo: And, that’s a problem because…?
Heather Asplund: I’m sorry I have to do this, but…
[She places a hand on Johnny’s chest and strokes it]
Johnny Bravo: Hey, that feels re-
[Heather bends Johnny’s neck to one side]
Johnny Bravo: Aaugh!
Heather Asplund: [ruefully] When I count to three, you will fall into a deep sleep, and forget that you ever met me.
Johnny Bravo: Sleep?… Forget?… Do I have to?
[Heather pinches a nerve in his neck]
Heather Asplund: Yes. You must forget that I ever existed.
Johnny Bravo: Aw, man.
Heather Asplund: One… two…
[She plants a kiss on Johnny’s lips and takes the Yogi Bear doll from him, holding it close to her]
Heather Asplund: Three.
[Johnny falls backwards, unconscious. Heather runs away quickly]
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35. Madame Viola: Johnny, I sense that you are thinking that you are a man about town, a shoe-in with the ladies, whose sole purpose is to bother woman.
Johnny: Could you say that again, cause all I heard was “blah blah blah woman”
36. “Hunk… monk… skunk… trunk… gunk…”
37. [swimming in a fountain] “Invisible backstroke!”
38. “Hey! I get it! A ‘hunk’ of cheese!” [He chortles] “Wait a minute, that’s not funny.”
39. “But enough about me… Let’s talk about me. What do you think of me?”
40. “Check the pects. Hoo-ha hooah!”
41. “Mama mia. That’s a spicy meatball!”
42. “Hey Foxy Mama, You smell kinda pretty. Wanna smell me? Hoohah!”
43. “I am Johnny Bravo, the one-man army!”
44. “Now remember, I do my best work when I’m being worshiped as a god.”
45. “It’s a beautiful day. But not as beautiful as me.”
46. “Great Scott. My pizza-sense is tingling.”
47. “Hey there smart momma, typin’ recipes?”
48. “I am investigating the disappearance of all the cats in the city… my living room is full of cats… that means… (pause) I’m hungry!”
49. “Hello, 911 Emergency? There’s a handsome guy in my bathroom! Hey, wait a second. Cancel that – it’s only me!”
50. “Sweet. Bring on the Danish chicks and cream soda.”
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51. “Some people look at Jerky and say, “Why?”. Me, I look at Jerky and I say ‘Mmmmmmmm! Jerky!’”
52. “I bet your name’s Mickey, ’cause you’re so fine.”
53. “Wanna watch my chest hair move in slow motion?”
54. “You look pretty…I look pretty…why don’t we go home and stare at each other?”
55. “Hey, Baby! Anybody ever tell you I have beautiful eyes?”
56. “If loving me is wrong, you don’t wanna be right!”
57. “Hey baby, can I be your natural selection?”
58. “What do you think, Rubber Ducky? ‘Quack, quack!’ Precisely what I had in mind!”
59. “You know, that just might be crazy enough to work.”
60. “Every time I try to fight the power the man slaps me down.”
61. “Pops? It’s me, Johnny! I couldn’t find any donuts so I brought some tile grout!”
62. “You know, you’d think a person with that much hate in her heart wouldn’t gravitate towards the service industry.”
63. Judge Trudy: All right, Mr. Bravo, how do you plead?
Johnny: Like this – Please, oh, plea-ease!
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