About the Roast of Rob Lowe
Thanks to his time on SNL (Saturday Night Live) and his very public relationships, Pete Davidson has become a comedian household name. Whether you like it or not. Despite his airing slightly on the obnoxious side, he’s quickly becoming one of our all time favourite roasters. With quick jabs and burns rivalling even Roast Master General, Jeff Ross.
On September 5th, 2016, he stepped up to the plate to roast Hollywood actor Rob Lowe and he did not pull back his punches. With burns and insults thrown at David Spade, Peyton Manning and Jimmy Carr, the mic was dropped quite literally on this ensemble of famous celebrities. Here’s our favourite lines from his set.
Pete Davidson’s Best Jokes at the Rob Lowe Roast
(To David Spade) David Spade’s assistant once tried to kill him in his sleep and the world was shocked to find out he could afford an assistant. – Pete Davidson
(To Rob Riggle) Rob Riggle was a marine. The few, the proud. Which also describes his fans. – Pete Davidson
(To Peyton Manning) I fucking love Peyton Manning. He’s the shit. Peyton looks like if football players evolved to no longer need helmets. No seriously I love your work. Especially in the Goonies where you yell “heyyyyyy you guys.” A Super Bowl is also what Peyton’s mom had to cut his hair with as a child.” – Pete Davidson
(To Jimmy Carr) When I first met Jimmy Carr I thought “wow, Jeff Dunham’s puppets are getting amazing!” Jimmy, you look like a butler in a haunted mansion. – Pete Davidson
(To Nikki Glaser) Nikki has a show called not safe. Though most people call it Not Schumer. – Pete Davidson
(To Ralph Macchio) You may know Ralph Macchio from saying “wax on, wax off”, if you’ve been to the car wash on Melrose and La Brea. – Pete Davidson
(To Ann Coulter) Ann Coulter, if you’re here then who’s scaring the crows away from our crops?! Ann describes herself as a polemicist, but most people call her a cunt. Last year we had Martha Stewart who sells sheets, and now we have Ann Coulter, who cuts eye holes in them. – Pete Davidson
(To Jewel) I won’t make fun of you yet because I want to give everyone at home time to Google who you are. My mom really wanted me to get you to sign this (holds up cassette tape) but I don’t know what the fuck it is. If it’s a phone, it’s broken. – Pete Davidson
(To Rob Lowe) Let’s hear it for Rob Lowe. Or, as gonorrhea doctors call him, “patient zero.” – Pete Davidson
(To Rob Lowe) People call Rob Lowe a bad actor but that’s only because they never saw him tell his wife he didn’t fuck that nanny. – Pete Davidson
(To Rob Lowe) Rob has two beautiful kids here. Not his children – they’re just guaranteed in his contract. – Pete Davidson
(To Rob Lowe) Rob was the first male spokesperson for the Lee National Denim Day, which raises millions of dollars for breast cancer research, you know? That’s a great thing. That’s a disease that his mother, his grandmother and his great-grandmother suffered from. But you still fucked a 16 year old girl in 1988. It doesn’t change anything. You still did that. – Pete Davidson
What are your favourite jokes from the Roast of Rob Lowe?
Did Pete leave you gasping for air between laughs at The Roast of Rob Lowe? Did we miss any of your favourite burns?
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